


Understand

by SilverMidnight



Series: Dark!Mike [1]
Category: Graceland (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Anal Sex, Angst, M/M, Multiple Endings, Rape, Self-Hatred, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:05:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1315897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMidnight/pseuds/SilverMidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike is a man of many secrets. After his 'roommates' refuse to let him walk away from Abby without so much as a kiss one of those secrets comes to life. Which gets a ball rolling on the rest of them. Non/Dub-con, slash. Warnings inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, my new obsession is 'Graceland'! I think you might have guessed that already though. Just a little thing that kept bouncing around in my head until I finally gave in and started to write.
> 
> Warnings:Non/Dub-con. Sex of the maleXmale kind (A lot of that actually.) Self-hatred themes. And some torture themes. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO READ IN EACH CHAPTER!
> 
> Alright I think that's all for now. I own nothing. Enjoy. And please review.

' _What the hell are you doing here, Mike?'_  I asked myself.

I had been at Graceland for a little over five months and even in this short period of time I started to think that maybe I was losing myself. Of course, all of this was over a girl.

And not just any girl. Abby. A girl who I had tried to blow off not once, not twice, not even three times. No, a girl I had tried to blow off a total of seven times now, but no one in the house seemed to get that.

Johnny, Briggs, Charlie, and Paige had decided that they were going to get me laid by the end of this month if it was the last thing they did. I just counted myself lucky that Jakes was out of the house for awhile because I do not want to see what he'd do to help.

But that was it. I didn't want or need the help really. If I wanted Abby in my bed she had given me enough opportunities to get her there. I just didn't want her in my bed at all.

It wasn't that she wasn't beautiful or that I wasn't the type of guy to have a one night stand. I didn't have them very often, but I have had a handful of one niters in my life time.

No, the fact was she wasn't my type. Her soft curves, sweet smile, and flowery scented shampoo did absolutely nothing for me. I just hadn't gotten around to telling her or anyone for that matter.

Okay so it wasn't that I hadn't gotten around to telling them as much as it was me being in total and complete fear of telling them. The first time around didn't end so well. I had no doubt this one wouldn't either.

It also didn't help that Johnny was there. Damn that man. So kind and helpful. Smiling happily while giving these funny remarks. Walking around without a shirt on showing off those muscles and tattoos.

Maybe I had a small crush on the man. But could you blame me? He was a really good looking guy. Add that with the fact he was the first person to be nice to me when I got here it was no wonder I wanted him.

It just wasn't fair. Alright I learned a long time ago that life wasn't fair. That didn't mean that I had to like it though. I was entitled to a handful of days filled with melancholy.

Which was exactly what today was supposed to be. I was just going to sit in front of the TV with a few bottles of sweet tea and not focus on anything until I had to. Of course, I didn't get to do that.

"Come on," Briggs said nudging my leg with his knee, "Let's go."

"Something happen with Bello?" I questioned standing up slowly.

"Nope."

"Need help with something else?"

"No."

"Do you really need me then? I was kind of hoping to have a little time to relax today. Just unwind and all of that."

"We're going down to the bar. You can 'unwind' there."

"The bar? Is this…Briggs, is this another attempt to get me to go home with Abby?"

"Yes, now let's go."

I opened my mouth to fight but I knew that it was useless. No one was going to leave me alone about this and I couldn't tell them because I didn't know what their reactions would be.

Which is how I found myself sitting across from Abby while Briggs was at the bar chatting up some girl. Still, even as he did this his eyes would wonder over to me as if to see if I was doing what he wanted.

For a moment I felt like I couldn't breathe. As if the walls were closing in on me. I needed to put a stop to this before the last bit of sanity I had left decided to leave the nest for good.

Without saying anything I pulled Abby out of the bar and into the alley. She sputtered slightly, but didn't put up much of a fight. She knew that I wasn't going to do anything to hurt her. At least that's what I thought.

When we were outside I found myself being pushed against the wall with soft grape flavored lips attempting to devour mine. Her soft body pressing so tightly to mine there was no room left.

"Stop," I pulled back.

"Mike," Abby pouted confused, "I thought…"

"I'm gay."

Abby's eyes widened almost comically and if I wasn't waiting for her hand to come down on my cheek I would have laughed. As it was I was waiting to see just how badly things were going to be.

The movements were slow but soon Abby was a few steps away from me. That look on her face remained. I knew it was hard to believe, I didn't think it was this hard to believe though.

"Wait, is that…Is that why you haven't made your move yet, Mike?" Abby questioned.

"Yes," I nodded, "Really, I was trying to pull away so you saw that I wasn't interested, but my roommates kept pushing me back and they don't give up or know about me."

"Why not? Are they homophobic?"

"I don't know. I've never heard them talk about it and I've never thought it was the right time to bring it up."

"That doesn't tell me why you…Wait, did something bad happen the last time you came out?"

"You could say that. Look, I'm really not comfortable talking about it. Let's just say it didn't end well."

A horrified, but confused look filled her eyes when I said that, but for some reason that made me feel calmer. She wasn't going to run away now that she knew. I had someone that I didn't have to hide from. Even if I was hiding everything else from her.

"Mike," Abby said sympathetically, "You have to tell them."

"Abby," I shook my head.

"They're not going to do…Whatever happened to you. Telling them your gay isn't going to be that big of a deal and if it is you can just crash at my place while you look for another place to live."

"I wish it was that easy, Abby. I wish it was that easy."

A soft sigh came from Abby's lips and this time when he body pressed against mine it was as she gave me a tight hug. I stood there in shock for a moment before letting myself have the most comfort I had in awhile.

I couldn't believe how well Abby was taking this. Ever since the first time I came out I thought that's how everyone was going to react to me. So I kept this part of my life to myself for he most part.

Now I had a girl, who I knew liked me, comforting me after I came out to her. It was a strange turn of events and as much as I didn't want to I knew that I was going to have to figure out why she was doing this.

It wasn't that I didn't think there were good people in the world. I knew there were. I just hadn't met any of them before and I was not about to let my guard down with her yet.

"Abby," I started pulling back, "What's going on? Why are you being nice to me?"

"My cousin was gay," Abby shrugged.

"Didn't turn out well for him either?"

"No, everyone in the family was supportive of him or just didn't say anything for fear of getting a tongue lashing from my Grandmother. He did say he wanted to kill himself at some point though. Bullies at school."

Sighing I nodded my head in understanding. I knew what that urge felt like, but I never let myself focus on it. I did everything in my power to make sure that I never thought about it.

That was how I learned so much so quickly. Why I ran every morning. It was the easiest way to keep all the thoughts at bay for me. I knew it wasn't that easy for other people though.

"Come on," Abby linked her hand with mine and pulling me away from the bar.

"Where are we going?" I asked confused.

"Your friends want you to get laid."

Hearing that sing-song tone in her voice I couldn't help but grin. She was right. They were adamant about wanting me to get laid and Briggs already did think that I had left with Abby.

"Wait," I sighed, "I can't."

"A little young for erectile dysfunction, Mike," Abby teased.

"Trust me. There's no problem there. I meant…I don't want to use you, Abs."

"You're not using me, Mike. I'm being your friend. We're going out to a bar, where you're going to hook up with a hot guy and go back to his place. If your roommates think that we're hooking up let them."

"If they ask…"

"Just smirk and say a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. Here we are."

Looking into the new bar I took a deep breath. I hadn't been to a gay bar since I got here and honestly I was itching to get in there and do exactly what Abby was telling me to do.

"Come on," Abby laughing tugging me in.

"Thank you," I smiled honestly, "I don't deserve you."

"I know. Now go find a hot piece of ass, Mike."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, my new obsession is ‘Graceland’! I think you might have guessed that already though. Just a little thing that kept bouncing around in my head until I finally gave in and started to write.
> 
> Warning: Non/Dub-con. Sex of the maleXmale kind. Self-hatred themes. And some torture themes. Mind Fuck.
> 
> Alright I think that’s all for now. I own nothing. Enjoy. And please review.

"You can't be serious, Mike," Javi laughed.

"I swear," I grinned, "That actually happened."

It was my third date with Javier 'Javi' Lovato, a man I had met at the club Abby took me to, and I actually liked the man a lot. Well, I liked him enough to let him take me back to his place.

Both of us knew that nothing was going to happen in this relationship. Neither of us wanted anything serious so it made sense that tonight was probably going to be the last night we saw each other.

Javi was a good guy though. A little taller than me and almost as muscled as Briggs. His skin was a few shades darker than Charlie's and he had a smile as wide as Johnny's.

Right now we were sharing one side of a booth at a restaurant that I knew was close to Javi's place and both of our plates were almost empty so I wasn't all that surprised to see Javi pull out his wallet.

I had offered to pay this time, but after him pointing out that he was the one that asked me on this date that it was his turn to pay. Neither of us said that I would get it next time

My thoughts were cut off when I saw a hand in front of my face. Trailing my eyes over the expanse smooth skin that was now before me I slowly slipped my hand into his and let him pull me closer to him.

Smiling I turned to him when he sat down and waited. This was one of my favorite things to do. I loved the build up before going to the bedroom. It showed how the rest of the night would go.

Javi didn't wait for me to say or do anything. Instead he pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was demanding. His tongue already pushing into my mouth taking control over me.

"Wait here, let me settle the bill," Javi smirked pulling back, "We'll head over to my place after."

"Okay," I nodded smiling back.

Javi stood up and made his way to pay the bill leaving me to finish off my drink. My eyes wondered around the restaurant before moving to look out the window. My heart speed up when I saw Jakes staring at me from across the street.

I stared back at him for a moment trying to figure out how much he saw when Javi came back. His strong hand was placed on the side of my face as he turned me towards him and pulled me into another kiss.

In the back of my mind I knew that Jakes could still see me, but I let myself be drug into the kiss before Javi pulled back. He smiled at me and wrapped an arm around my waist when I stood up.

When we were outside I quickly let my eyes dart to where Jakes had just been standing, but he was gone by then. It didn't matter though I still needed to talk to him about what happened.

"You still with me?" Javi questioned unlocking the door to his apartment and letting us in.

"Yeah," I tugged my jacket off, "I'm here."

"Good."

The word came out almost like a growl as he pushed me into the door. His body pressed tightly against mine as his teeth worried at my neck. I couldn't stop the moan from slipping from my lips.

I hadn't done something like this in so long. I missed the warmth that another body soaking into mine. Of, for even a small period of time, giving myself fully to another person.

It was true that I couldn't have this for long, but that didn't meant that I couldn't have a few hours. Just a few hours of being able to lose myself to the feelings I didn't usually let myself acknowledge.

Placing my hands on Javi's chest I quickly started to undo the buttons of his shirt. His lips moved to mine. Our tongues dancing together until I pulled back slightly and let him take control.

Javi pulled back far enough to pull my shirt off as his dropped to the floor before pulling off his pants as well as mine. I moved in for another kiss when I saw a tattoo starting at his side and stopping just below his nipple.

Dropping to my knees I slowly ran a hand over this tattoo. It was an intricate phoenix. Thin black lines twirling around his skin, red, orange, white, and yellow filling in the spaces. I never knew how much I loved to see a man with tattooed skin.

Leaning forward I let my tongue trace over the lines. I could hear Javi pants softly above me as his skin became slick with sweat. That caused another moan to fall from my lips as I ran my teeth down his hips pulling his underwear off.

"Mike," Javi groaned placing a hand on the back of my head, "Come on. Suck me."

Smiling to myself I licked a strip from the base to the tip of his dick before sucking the head into my mouth. My eyes slipped shut when I felt the familiar weight on my tongue.

Lavishing the tip with my tongue I slowly started to pull him further until I could feel him pressing against the back of my throat. The hand on the back of my head tighten trying to get me to go faster.

Above me I could feel Javi holding himself back, but when I swallowed around him the resolve snapped. His hand gripped tighter until I had tears in my eyes. It was enough for me to let him pull me back before moving back in.

Moaning softly around him I let my hand trail down my body until I was cupping myself. I didn't want this to end quickly though. I wanted to be able to feel all of him before I had to leave.

Swirling my tongue around him once more I pulled back fully and looked up at Javi panting heavily. I could see his eyes were darkened with lust and I couldn't help but smirk at that.

I loved being able to see what I was doing to my partner. Knowing that I was the reason that they were so close to the edge, that I could push them over with a few little tricks. It was addictive.

"Javi," I moaned arching back teasingly, "Want you."

"Where?" Javi asked resting a hand on the side of my face, "Where do you want me, Mike? Here?"

Javi gently brushed his hand down the side of my face his nails scrapping against my neck. As his hand trailed further down my body he repeated the question. It wasn't until he was pinching and twisting at my nipples that I found my voice again.

"Want you in me, Javi," I panted leaning into his movements, "Please, Javier? Fuck me?"

A smirk came to Javi's lips as he pulled me off my knees and into a harsh kiss. I was so focused on the kiss that I barely noticed being lifted up so my legs were wrapped around his waist.

Feeling the man press his muscled body tightly against me I moaned and started to rub against him. It felt wonderful. Our chests rubbing together, his fingers kneading my ass, my nails scraping down his back.

I broke the kiss to let Javi's fingers in my mouth. Sucking them into my mouth I groaned remembering exactly how he felt. I slicked them as thoroughly as I could before he pulled them out and started biting down my throat.

A soft whimper fell from my lips when he pushed a finger into me. As much as I had missed this it had been so long since the last time I had done this with anyone but myself.

Moving slowly I started to press back against his finger hoping to get more. My hopes were answered when another finger is pressed into me. Before I had any real time to adjust he added another one in without warning.

Feeling the pain that came with it I whimpered once more. I tried not to focus on the pain, to relax, but it wasn't until Javi's hand wrapped around me setting a slow speed that I accomplished that.

"Come on," I panted into Javi's ear after a moment pushing back onto his fingers, "You're not going to break me. Oh, Javi. Fill me. Please. Need you. Been so long. Please. Oh, please, Javier."

Javi growled softly moving us to his couch. Laying me down he stretched over my body and opened a drawer. Pulling out a condom and lube he pushed the condom into my hands while he covered his fingers with lube before pushing them back into me.

Moaning at the feeling I quickly rolled the condom on him. As my hands moved to the back of Javi's head he pulled his fingers out of me. Placing one of my legs around his waist the other was lifted to his shoulder as he guided himself into me.

A gasping moan fell from my lips as I felt myself get stretched. Javi's breaths came out in harsh pants as he waited for me to adjust. It wasn't until I nodded my head that the man slowly pulled out of me.

Javi stopped moving when only his head was inside of me. When he didn't enter me again I opened my eyes and saw him smirking down at me this predatory gleam in his eyes.

"Tell me, Mike," Javi purred out, "Tell me what you want me to do to you."

"Javi," I gasped, "Want you… Want you to fuck me. Hard. Fast. Want to feel you… Oh… Please, Javi. Fuck me!"

"What if I don't want that? What if I want to take my time? Take you slow. Make you feel every inch of me as I push into you. Feel you gasping and writhing against me. Hear you beg to cum. Beg for me to push you over the edge. Would you do that Mike? Would you beg?"

"Javi…Please. Fuck me. Want you to be inside me. Feel you surround me. Need you to. Please. Come on, hard. Oh, please, Javier. Hard."

A dark chuckle came from Javi's lips as he thrust inside of me. A soft yell fell from my lips as I threw my head back. His thrusts were slow, like he said, but they were deep enough that I found I didn't care.

Our bodies moved together, harsh panting and soft moans filling the space between us. Digging my nails into Javi's back I drug them down knowing that I was drawing blood with them.

A groan came from Javi at that. His hips speeding up slightly. Wanting to feel more of that I found myself leaning up and biting just below Javi's ear before licking and sucking on that spot.

With each harsh bite, followed by a soothing lick I could feel the man above me lose more and more of his control. It wasn't until I used my teeth to tug on his ear that he lost it.

Gripping the armrest above my head Javi used the leverage to thrust into me. Hard. A scream erupted my from lips before I could even think to stop it. My hands grabbed at the back of his neck pulling him down for a harsh kiss.

"Do it, Mike," Javi panted a hand wrapping around my member, "Cum for me. Let me see you."

Letting out another scream let myself go. My cum slicked our stomachs, but all I could think was how blissful I felt as he continued to thrust into me. The thrusts were becoming erratic and I knew it was only a matter of time.

Through hooded eyes I took the hand that had been wrapped around me and brought it to my lips. Seeing the cum covering it I smirked. My eyes quickly darted to Javi's before I started to suck his hand clean.

Another growl came from Javi before his body went ridged. By the time I had cleaned his hand completely Javi was slowly pulling out of me and tugging off the now filled condom.

Both of us stayed on the couch for a moment trying to get our breathing under control. Javi was able to do that before me. As soon as he did he brought me into a bruising kiss.

"You don't expect to cuddle, do you?" Javi muttered against my lips.

"No," I shook my head, "Just a quick shower before I head home."

"Okay. Go. I'm going to clean up a bit."

Nodding my head calmly at this I tiredly rolled off of the couch and made my way into the bathroom following Javi's instruction. This was the part that I hated of a one night stand.

It wasn't that I wanted to stay, but I also did want the other person to feel like I used them in anyway. Though I guess that was exactly what a one night stand was all about.

Sighing I quickly finished my shower and got dressed. Before leaving his house I let Javi pull me into one last kiss. I had to pull away before my body decided it wanted to stay and repeat the performance.

I had more important things I had to do than get laid again. Sometimes I hated how responsible my mind was. No, now I had to go to Graceland and talk to Jakes about everything. This was going to be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, my new obsession is ‘Graceland’! I think you might have guessed that already though. Just a little thing that kept bouncing around in my head until I finally gave in and started to write.
> 
> Warning: Non/Dub-con. Sex of the maleXmale kind. Self-hatred themes. And some torture themes. Mind Fuck.
> 
> Alright I think that’s all for now. I own nothing. Enjoy. And please review.

"Thought I'd see you soon, Mike," Jakes said opening the door to his room.

"Yeah," I sighed, "Can we…Can we talk?"

Jakes stared at me silently for a moment before opening the door wider and letting me in. Once the door was closed and locked the older man sat back down on his bed and motioned for me to sit at his desk.

Sighing I fell into the chair and ran a hand through my hair. Now that I was here I had no idea what I was supposed to say or do. I mean, this was Jakes. He and I didn't really get along.

Well, that wasn't true. Jakes had been working on a case since I got here and most of his time had been dedicated to that. It wasn't that he didn't like me, we just had never really hung out before.

Now here I was, in his room, about to tell him I was gay, after he saw me making out with a guy, and beg for him not to tell anyone else in the house what I had been doing today.

I should have known to be more careful when I was out, but I hadn't been thinking about that. Really, I had just wanted some fun before I had to go back to hiding who I was.

I had no idea it would be this hard to live in this house. I knew I could keep myself separate from the people that lived outside of the house, but I had hoped that inside it would be different.

Everyone here already knew each other though and that brought a level of trust that I hadn't reached yet. Maybe that was because I was still hiding myself or because of my assignment. I didn't know.

All I really did know was that there was a man in front of me who knew that secret and could expose me to everyone if he decided to. I needed to be able to convince him to keep my secret.

How was I going to do that? And even if I did somehow get him to agree not to tell the rest of the house he still would have this over me and I would be at his mercy if he wanted.

Okay, so I was going with the worse case scenarios here, but I knew that someone could actually do that to me if they wanted to. Though I did doubt that it would be Jakes that would do it.

"So," I started before clearing my throat, "Saw you today."

"Yeah," Jakes nodded, "Saw you too. With that guy."

"Javi. Not that that matters much, but…Yeah."

"Mike, listen…"

"I'm gay."

Jakes stared at me again causing me to twitch in my seat. I really hated when someone just stared me down like this. Normally I could handle it, but this was a completely different situation.

I was supposed to be able to feel safe at Graceland and I had. Now I wasn't so sure that I was going to be able to keep that feeling. It all came down to what Jakes decided to do.

"Why didn't you just tell us that?" Jakes questioned, "Why lie? Why let everyone push you into dating that Abby chick?"

"It didn't end well," I carefully stated, "The first time I came out. And that was with someone who doesn't have the knowledge to kill and dispose of my body properly."

"You think we'd kill you just because your gay? Are you completely insane? What the hell happened to you when you first came out that was so bad that you're not even giving people a chance?"

"My family happened. I love my family. I really do, but they're very…Black and white. Very strict. If you don't do what they say when they say it and how they say it you're basically screwed. I didn't fit their mold when I came out."

"They hit you."

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but…I wish they had hit me. It would have been so much better than what they did do."

"You're not going to tell me what happened, are you?"

"No, I'm sorry Jakes. I want to. I just…"

"Want to forget that part of your life. I can understand that. We all have things we just want to forget ever happened. But you have to know that this could compromise you out in the field."

"I would never let it do that."

"Yeah, just like I would never let some racist ass get under my skin. Except that I did. There's going to be a time where you're up against some homophobe or you're going to have to be that homophobe and we need to know you can do that."

"You went up against a racist?"

"Not that long after I joined Graceland. It was a joint operation and because I couldn't let this comments roll off my back like both Briggs and Charlie were telling me to I got blown and almost got all three of us killed."

"I'm sorry."

Me too. But I learned quickly after that. There is nothing you can do to stop the comments, the stares, the gestures, or whatever they throw at you, but you need to be able to handle it. You don't look like you could handle one glare."

"I've handled it before."

"Yeah? How'd that end? Mike, I don't it. I really do. I'm not gay or anything, but racism is alive and kicking. You know that I'm right."

"How do you deal with it?"

"I have Graceland. I know no the people here have my back. Even if they do annoy me more often than not. They'll have yours too, Mike. When you tell them that you're gay."

"I want to believe that. I really do. I just can't. Not yet."

A sigh fell from the dark skinned man before he reluctantly nodded his head. He really didn't like the idea of me hiding who I was from the house, but he wasn't going to force me to tell them.

I could feel the tightness in my chest loosen when he did that. Jakes wasn't going to tell anyone. I just wasn't sure that this was going to be the last time he and I had a conversation about this.

It was a little weird, but in a way it almost felt like he was trying to protect me. Like he knew something that I didn't. Something that would help me. I just wasn't sure what that was.

"Thank you," I stood up, "I should…"

"You should listen to me, Mike," Jakes leaned forward, "Now I won't tell anyone else, but you have to tell Briggs."

"I…What?"

"You heard me. Briggs needs to know this. Not because he needs to know everything, but because at some point in time there will be a case concerning this and he needs to know just how vulnerable he is making his people."

"I have to tell him because of the job?"

"Yes. I suggest doing it now because if you don't tell him now it's not going to end well."

Sighing once more I nodded my head and left Jakes' bedroom. I knew that he was right. There were a lot of people out there that would just  _love_  to get their hands on a gay man, agent or not.

If I didn't tell Briggs what was going on than I was a liability and it wasn't just my ass on the line. I had been hiding it for months now and I really, really didn't want to have this conversation with the man.

That didn't change anything though. Which is how I found myself standing on the beach watching Briggs surf. My eyes darted around quickly making sure that Briggs was alone before sitting down.

It wasn't until ten minutes later that the man finally paddled in and sat next to me. I kept my mouth shut for awhile simply waiting the waves hoping to get some sort of courage from them.

"I lied," I whispered not looking at the older man.

"You're going to have to be more specific there, Kid," Briggs responded.

"Briggs, I…I'm gay."

I don't know why, but it seemed so much harder to tell the man next to me that I was gay than it had been to tell Jakes. It didn't matter though. I found that I couldn't look at him.

The quiet stretched on for awhile. I could feel the tears starting to gather in my eyes as I wondered what kind of punishment Briggs was trying to come up with at the moment.

I was so lost in my thoughts when I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. Jumping at the weight I turned back to Briggs and saw the concern hiding behind the normal calm of his eyes.

When I saw that there was no hidden anger or disgust I let out a shaky laugh. I knew that everything had changed now that he knew what I was. And as much as much as I didn't want to I understood.

Finding out that someone you thought you know was gay was a hard thing to deal with. Finding it out when you were only in a pair of swim trunks was all that much worse for the person.

"I'm glad you told me, Mike," Briggs finally spoke his voice serious, "I know that it can be hard to tell someone you're gay and I understand why you didn't tell me before. But I have to know. Why are you telling me now?"

"Jakes," I shrugged.

"You have a crush on Jakes? I have to say your taste in men sucks, Mike."

Laughing softly at the mans words I shook my head. I had come out to two people to day and here I was laughing. That was something that hadn't happened the first time around.

Truthfully, it wasn't until I was in the academy that I found someone that didn't hate me because I was gay. It was weird, but I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Jakes caught me on a date," I smiled slightly.

"So you have finally gotten laid?" Briggs questioned, "Because I do have money on this week."

My blush seemed to be enough of an answer for him because Briggs started to laugh. We sat there for another few minutes before the older man stood up and offered me his hand.

Once we were both standing up we started to make our way back to the house. This time the silence that filled the space wasn't awkward and I couldn't help but smile at that.

"I'm not going to tell you that you have to tell the rest of the team," Briggs suddenly spoke, "But I can promise you that they're not going to hate you for this. Nothing will change if you tell them. Well, except for them trying to hook you up with guys instead of girls, but that's it."

"I can't," I shook my head.

"Mike, they won't care."

"I can't."

"What happened to make you so afraid?"

"Just something in my past. I know you want to help Briggs, but I know what can happen."

"No, you know the worst of what can happen. Not everyone is going to react the worst way. Jakes and I didn't react badly. You have to know other people that didn't react badly."

"The bad outweigh the good."

"That's a lie and you know it. I'm starting to think your views on this are a little twisted. What happened?"

Shaking my head I heard the man sigh, but he didn't start up again. I knew that he and Jakes were just trying to help me, but I knew exactly what could happen to me if I came out to people who I thought would be fine with it.

I couldn't let myself go back into that place. Not when it took so long for me to get out. Because I knew that if I did nothing was going to be able to bring me out of it again.

I hated myself for that. For being so weak and stupid. I just couldn't stop myself from hearing their voices in my head whenever I start to think that things get better. I couldn't let myself forget.

While it was completely possible that Briggs and Jakes were right and everything would be fine I couldn't do it. I didn't deserve to have all the good parts that came with people I trusted knowing that I was gay.

"So, tell me, if Jakes' isn't your type does that mean that I am, Levi?" Briggs interrupted with a lewd grin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, my new obsession is ‘Graceland’! I think you might have guessed that already though. Just a little thing that kept bouncing around in my head until I finally gave in and started to write.
> 
> Warning: Non/Dub-con. Sex of the maleXmale kind. Self-hatred themes. And some torture themes. Mind Fuck
> 
> Alright I think that’s all for now. I own nothing. Enjoy. And please review.

"Ah, Michael," Bello nodded not looking away from the television, "I am glad you are here."

"Wouldn't be anywhere else, Sir," I smiled.

I sat down when I saw the man motion to do so with his head. At the moment in time it was only he and I in his home, but I knew that was going to change soon. He had said we had a busy day ahead of us.

Still, we simply sat there for awhile watching the movie he had turned on. Luckily for me it wasn't another western. Instead it was a comedy that I found myself smiling at it periodically.

At least I was until I felt a pair of eyes on me. Turning towards Bello I opened my mouth to say something when his lips were suddenly pressed against mine. It only lasted a few seconds before he pulled back.

The man stared into my shock widened eyes for a moment before running his knuckles across my jaw. The air around us was so quiet I thought I could hear his heart beating though I knew that was just mine.

The movement of his hand was so gentle I could barely believe that this was the same man that I was trying to throw in jail. He was a bad guy and he needed to go down. Now.

In the back of my mind though I knew I had to remember all of this. Of course, it did help that Bello wasn't my type. He was attractive though and it seemed like he could be a gentle person.

Was this the side of Bello that Eddie had known? It was possible that if Bello and Eddie had been together that this was the reason that he decided not to take the deal we gave him.

Still, Bello didn't seem like the guy to suddenly lean over a kiss another man. Maybe being his body guard wasn't just about protecting him, but about taking care of him as well.

Could I do that? Could I actually let this man take me to his bed? Let him kiss me? Touch me? Would I be able to keep myself separated from this 'relationship' if I did do this?

What was I supposed to do? I could get so much closer to the man if he thought I was interested in him. I would be able to figure out all these little things that only a lover would know.

I really should have asked Briggs these questions when I finally came out to him, but I had been too wrapped up in my own thoughts that I hadn't thought to ask if anything had changed.

Did it really matter? If this was a chick and I was straight I would have kissed back without thinking. I needed to get closer to Bello. That was a fact. If this did it then I had to do it.

I just couldn't let myself get lost in it. Somehow I was going to have to get Briggs to help me not get lost. Because I knew that if at any point I actually started to fall for this man I wasn't going to come back out.

Is this what went through everyone's head when they started a relationship undercover? That they had to have someone on the other side ready to pull them back if they got too close?

It had to be a horrible job to have to do that. To have to watch someone that you cared about become involved with someone that you knew was a monster and actually be pushing them to do that.

That was exactly what I needed to do right now. I needed to get close enough to Bello and be able to keep my head about it. Once again I wondered what I was thinking taking this job.

I had to hope that I was doing the right thing. This could quickly blow up in my face if I did this wrong. Then we lost Bello and all of our work went down the drain. Who knew how long it would take to get someone in again.

"I apologize," Bello calmly pulled back, "I should not have done that."

"No," I shook my head before placing a hand on his, "I just wasn't expecting it. I didn't think you were…"

"I like what I like, Michael. And I like you."

Nodding slightly I braced myself as he kissed me once more. I still couldn't believe it when I felt just how gentle the Nigerian was being. It was almost like he thought this was my first time.

I kept reminding myself everything that this man had done as he moved closer to me. For the first time I found myself glad that I knew exactly what type of person Bello was.

He ran his hands down my sides until they came to my hips, his grip soft as he moved us so I was straddling his waist. It was more gentle than I could remember it ever being.

Feeling his hands slowly start to work their way up my shirt I felt myself go ridged for a moment. Bello must have felt it too because he broke the kiss and stared into my eyes.

"You seem skittish," Bello muttered against my lips, "We can go slower if you'd like."

"I'm sorry," I answered, "You're just very different then the men I've been with before."

"Am I? How is that?"

Before I could answer a warm hand was placed on the side of my face tugging me down for another kiss. His tongue swiping slowly over my lips before pushing into my mouth.

My eyes slipped shut as I felt the older man coax my tongue into dancing with his. Everything about the kiss was sensual and I couldn't help but love the feeling that he was giving me.

I had always wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship like this. To go slow and simply feel. Have the person I was with actually care enough to be gentle in everything they did.

This was Bello though. He was the farthest thing from my mind when I thought of gentle. He was a cold, cruel man and I knew this. I had seen what he could do. I needed to remember that.

"Your lips look wonderful like this, Michael," Bello smirked pulling away from the kiss and slowly rubbing his thumb over my lip, "They are so full and red. It is like they are begging to be kissed again. For me to bite and suck on them until they are bruised. Simply beautiful."

"Thank you," I blushed.

"Do not thank me yet. Get up. We have many things we must do."

Standing up from Bello's lap I straightened my clothing and went back to looking professional. Bello stood as well, but he didn't moved from in front of me as his hand came up and ghosted down my neck.

As he pulled away fully it was like everything went back to normal. I was simply Bello's bodyguard and the person training his men. At least that was something I actually knew how to do.

What was I thinking when I decided that I'd  _make-out_  with the man that I was trying to put away? A man who I was lying to? Why the hell did I have to be such a rookie?

The whole thing was a mistake and I had ruined the entire operation. I was going to have to go back to Graceland and explain to Briggs why I was such a complete failure and pack my bags.

I was screwed it was a simple as that. When Bello kissed me I went with my instinct…Wait, wasn't that what Briggs kept telling me I needed to do? Go with my instinct instead of the book?

Of course, I think I was taking that a little too far with this, but maybe I would be able to get make him understand what had been going on in my head. At least, I hoped I could.

Bello was just so sweet and gentle though. Wait, the Bello that was on paper and the Bello that poured metal into Eddie's eye were not sweet or gentle. Was it possible that he was trying to play me?

If that was the case exactly what was he trying to do? I was already his bodyguard. Did he have doubts about after hearing what Eddie said or was he trying to do something else to me?

There was no doubt in my mind now that I thought about it. Bello was playing me and I had to know why. What exactly he was planning to do with me now that he knew that I was willing.

"Michael," Bello's voice cut through my thoughts, "Come back here."

Pulling the car into his driveway I did what Bello asked. It was the end of the day and I hoped that I would be going home soon. I needed to tell Briggs everything that happened today.

When I was in the backseat Bello drug me into his lap, his hands anchoring my hips down. It was almost like he was trying to possess me in someway. I just couldn't figure out why.

"I will see you tomorrow morning," Bello spoke calmly, "Six o'clock."

I was able to nod my head once before I was once again pulled into a kiss. Like before everything was almost too perfect. That was when I knew that Bello was up to something.

Bello and I went our separate ways after that without saying anything. I drove quickly, but carefully, to Graceland. I didn't need to be followed on top of everything that was going on.

"What is he playing?" I questioned myself.


	5. Chapter 5

"This better be good, Mike," Briggs growled.

"Bello and I made out," I whispered after making sure that no one else could hear us.

Briggs blinked at me a few times when I said that. Once the shock wore off he quickly tugging me into his room. The door slammed shut behind us and the lock was thrown into place before he turned back to me.

From the look in his eyes I knew that he wanted me to tell him everything that had happened today. I knew that it wasn't that big of a request, but I still felt myself become uncomfortable.

I had never been the type of person to talk about my sex life. I had never even really tried to make some girl up to throw everyone of my trail. I simply never talked about it.

Now I was going to have to explain making out with a  _Drug Lord_  to my mentor who up until two weeks ago didn't even know that I was gay. Yeah, this job just kept getting better and better.

What was I supposed to do though? This was the job that I agreed to do. I refused to say I wanted it because that was a completely ludicrous thought. I never wanted to be in this position.

In the end though I had agreed to do it. I agreed to investigate Briggs, which was something else that I was having trouble with. I still couldn't see Briggs as the type of guy to do what they said he did.

That was another problem for another day. Right now I had to focus on trying to figure out what I was supposed to do now that there was possibly something going on with Bello and I.

Oh that thought made my stomach hurt. It was now that I was truly away from the man that I realized just how far I had gotten myself into it. Just how stupid I had been about everything.

How had Paige been able to do this? How could she have pretended to be with a man when she knew all the things that he had done? How had she not just given into everything that was happening?

That was the thing that I was having the hardest time with. I knew that this was just an act to me. I knew that I could never truly care about someone like Bello, but I knew just how dangerous this was too.

If at any point he did something that I didn't expect I knew that I could fall for him easily. It was what people like him did. It was how they got so many people on their side.

Is that why he had been so gentle? Did he not believe that I was trustworthy enough? Or was it possible that the man thought I knew something and was trying to get it out of me?

No, that didn't make sense. If he wanted to get something out of me then he would have been violent. Wouldn't he? He wouldn't have treated me like I was actually his lover. Right?

The more I thought about all of this the more I realized that I understood none of it. This wasn't like anything they had taught us at the academy and it wasn't like anything in the manuals.

Briggs an Johnny were right. The manuals weren't for undercover's. They were for the rest of the FBI. They were for the people that could actually flash their badges and I hated how much I hated that.

By the time I was finished telling Briggs everything that had happened today I felt like I was the biggest idiot on the planet. Not only had I put my faith in rules I'd never use, but I'd messed up a huge operation.

In my mind there was no doubt that Briggs was going to kick me out of the house and probably do everything so I wouldn't even be able to get a job cutting grass. And I couldn't blame him.

This was all my fault. I didn't deserve to be in this house. I didn't deserve…Damn it, I was thinking like I was back in middle school. I wasn't a child anymore and I needed to remember that.

It was difficult though. I knew exactly what I was. I knew exactly what lies had been told to me basically my entire life and somehow I still ended up believing them more often than not.

"You think he's trying to manipulate you," Briggs voice cut through my thoughts.

"I know he is," I answered, "I don't know why."

"What makes you so sure that he's manipulating you and doesn't just like you?"

As soon as Briggs asked that question I remembered the kisses, the caresses that man had given me. I remembered just how gentle he was and, for a brief moment, I let myself feel wanted.

Bello was not the first man that I had ever been with. Not that I did relationships a lot. Really, I had only been in one actual relationship and he and I broke up over five years ago.

Since then I've made due with one night stands and I hated that. I was not the type of person that did one night stands. I wanted a real relationship, even if I knew that I would never get that.

Feeling the warmth slowly wash over me as I was arranged on Bello's lap was very intoxicating. But hearing the man say that we would go slow if that was what I wanted was beyond anything I had ever felt before.

It wasn't until now that I began to think of my former lovers that I thought of, not only them, but myself, as selfish. Take what we needed and leave with barely a good-bye to the other.

That wasn't what Bello did. The man was setting the groundwork for something that could end up being the most wonderful experience in my life and I would never take it.

Bello was not my friend. He was not my lover. He was not the person I wanted to spend my life with. He was using me and needed Briggs to know this because I knew I could easily forget it.

I never thought that I'd have to lean on someone as heavily as I was going to lean on Briggs right now, but I needed to. I needed to know he could pull me back or I couldn't go any further.

This one thing was going to make or break my career and there was only me to blame. I just hoped that I was doing the right thing trusting Briggs to help me as much as I was.

"No one kisses that gently without wanting something," I said staring into his eyes, "Briggs, I'm telling you there is something going on."

"Do you think it's important to the case?" he questioned.

"I'm not sure if it's about the case or if he's just trying to get inside my mind. I have to find out."

Briggs sighed softly and nodded his head once. He understood where I was coming from and I had to admit to myself that that actually scared me. Was doing something like this a common thing?

By the look on the older mans face I knew that this wasn't the first time that he had to have this conversation and I doubted that it was going to be the last time. Just how many more times would I be on this end of it?

"Would you sleep with him?" Briggs asked after a moment.

"If I had to," I shrugged, "I didn't think we actually did that."

"We have ways to get around it if we need to, but it does depend on the situation. Which do you think would work best here? Sleeping with him or drugging him?"

I nodded my consent when Briggs put it like that. Paige drugging her mark was an obvious choice. She was coming to a close on her investigation. I, on the other hand, still had a long road ahead of me.

Okay, I was going to have to sleep with Bello and if the man kept acting like he had been around me then it wasn't going to turn out that badly. At least I hoped it wouldn't.

"But," Briggs said, "There is one thing that I need to know before we let anything else happen."

"What?" I asked.

"This is your first case, Mikey. I need to know if you think you can handle this. Handle sleeping with the enemy and not getting too close to him. You cannot fall for him Mike."

"He's not my type."

"When you said that he was gentle you got this look in your eyes. You tried to hide it, but I still saw it. You're worried that you'll get to close to him because of how he's treating you."

"I'm not stupid, Briggs."

"Never said you were. But you are human. And if how you reacted telling me that you're gay then I know you're starved for attention like he's giving you. So, I'll ask again…Do you think you can do this, Mike? Without getting too close?"

I opened my mouth to brush off what the older man was saying when I realized that was stupid. He already knew that I was doubting myself and that I'd need help. If I let him know right now then he'd have my back.

That didn't mean that I wanted to tell him everything that I had been feeling since that first kiss. I never wanted Briggs to see me as weak and that was exactly what I felt like I was right now.

"I might need some help," I conceded.

"Okay," Briggs nodded, "I can do that, but I need you to tell me the second that you think it's too much. I really don't want to have to drag your ass to jail because you lost yourself to Bello. Now, go to bed. You have a lot to do still."


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, Mikey!" Johnny grinned happily when I walked through the front door, "Looks like Charlie isn't the only one doing the walk of shame lately. Did you have a fun night?"

"Why is it I feel the 'walk of shame' is only important to the one who  _hasn't_  had sex in awhile?" I asked with a smirk.

Charlie and Briggs laughed slightly at that while Johnny tried to come up with something to say back. I couldn't help but feel proud about that. It was the first time I drove the man to be speechless. And this was Johnny.

Johnny with his hatred of wearing shirts around the house, especially when he had just taken a shower after a morning of surfing. His whole body still smelt like the salt water and it made my mouth water.

I couldn't help but count my blessings that I had good control. Because as I looked over at the older man I saw him licking the juices from an apple off of his chin without even realizing how sexy he looked.

Shaking my head slightly to myself I greeted Paige as she skipped into the room. She opened her mouth to say something only to spin around to me and pull the collar of my shirt down.

A wide grin came to her face as Charlie let out a soft whoop before laughing once more. I hadn't even realized that Bello had made a mark on my neck after out little nightly make-out session that he seemed to love so much.

How did I let myself get so lost in his kisses that I didn't notice that he gave me a hickey. Shit. There was a mark on my neck. Bello gave me a hickey.  _A drug fucking lord marked me!_

Feeling what little was left in my stomach want to come up I excused myself from the kitchen and went upstairs. It wasn't long before I was kneeling over the toilet clenching my eyes shut.

This was wrong. All of this was just so wrong. I had been 'dating' Bello for a little over three months now and, besides a little information that only helped us so much, nothing had changed.

Because of that and because when we were in the confides of his own home Bello became Jeremiah I had actually let myself enjoy the kisses and the soft caresses over clothing.

That was what kept getting me to momentarily forget who not only Bello was, but who I was. After two months everything was just like it was in the beginning. Soft strokes here, a gentle, but mind-blowing, kiss there. It was almost too much.

Last night was actually the first time that the man strayed away from kissing my lips. His warm lips ghosting over my neck until they got to my collar bone where he latched on.

Even as his teeth softly scrapped against my skin before his tongue soothed over the spot it was so gentle. That feeling had me gripping the couch as I tried to hold back just how much it was effecting me.

And it was effecting me. I loved the gentleness that the man possessed when he were alone, but it was frustrating at the same time. I actually  _wanted_  him to do so much more to me.

A new wave of nausea hit me when I thought that. I  _wanted_ a  _drug lord_  to have sex with me! No, that wasn't the right word. With how he acted it would be sex. He would… It would be closer to actually  _making love_.

What was I supposed to do? I couldn't let myself fall fro a guy like that, but…Oh, when I thought of his touches. Of how warm and amazing he felt when he was hovering over me or when I was straddling his waist. I couldn't help but want it.

"Mike," Briggs knocked on the door, "Let me in."

Leaning over as much I could I unlocked the door. Soon the door was locked once more and Briggs was leaning on it. He had this weird miss of concern and uncertainty in his eyes. And I was the one that put it there.

"What happened?" Briggs softly asked.

"Nothing," I sighed, "Everything was normal."

"Right, because it's completely and totally normal for you to rush into the bathroom and lose your lunch. I see you do that everyday. I don't know why I'm questioning it."

"Briggs…"

"Mike, I know something's brothering you. I need to know what it is so I can figure out what needs to be done."

"I don't know."

"Mike."

"I don't like Bello. I know what he's done, I saw what he made Eddie do, and I know what he could do in the future, but Briggs…He's not…He's not Bello when he's in his home."

"You can't fall for him."

"I'm trying not to and I hate myself for even thinking. Damn it, Briggs, I let him mark me. I didn't even realize it until Paige pointed it out."

"And now? What do you think now that you know?"

"I think that I'm a complete and total idiot and I kind of hate myself right now."

Briggs let out a slow breath before sitting down. It should have been weirder that the two of us were sitting in a locked bathroom, but this whole thing was messed up as it was.

Even with Briggs here I was having a hard time not thinking about Bello. His hands pulling me closer to him. Feeling just how much he was effected by the simple touches.

I knew what he was, I knew what he did, but whenever I thought about it I remembered how he acted with me. I started to wonder if there was actual good in the mans heart.

If there was good was it possible that I could help him? I could get him away from this life and maybe…Just maybe I could…I could what? It doesn't change what he has done.

Bello is cold-blooded and brutal when he wants to be. He simply doesn't want to be that when he's around me. I have no idea why, but I was actually happy, in a confused and lost way, that he was like this.

I couldn't save the man and right now I didn't even know if I could save my heart from breaking when this is over. I was falling in love with Bello. No, I was falling in love with Jeremiah. There was a difference.

There had to be a difference. I couldn't be falling for someone like Bello. I was just going temporarily insane because…Well, I'm not sure why, but there had to be a good reason for me to be feeling this.

"You know I fell for a mark once," Briggs interrupted.

"You did?" I asked in shock.

"Yeah, I was pretty new, only been working undercover for a year. There was this beautiful woman, Holly Dever. When it was just her and I she was the sweetest person that you could imagine. I couldn't believe that she was the same person in the file that I had read."

"What happened?"

"She took me to her warehouse. The one where she kept all of children she had kidnapped before she sold them. She didn't care about them. The only reason that most weren't sick or starving was because she knew that would be bad for business. They were scared though. Terrified. I've never heard so many…So much begging for death as I did that day."

"Guess you fell out of love with her rather quickly."

"No, I still love her. Well, I love the person she was with me. Listen to me, Mike. If you ask anyone here they'll tell you similar stories. It's almost impossible to be deep undercover in a fake relationship and not start to feel something for the other person. But you can't let it go too deep."

"What's too deep? How do you stop it?"

"I wish I knew how to stop it, Baby. I really do. But there's nothing you can do about that. You've already fallen for Bello. You just…"

"Jeremiah."

"What?"

"Bello, he is the drug lord that pours metal into people's eyes as a punishment. Jeremiah. he is…"

"Is the guy you love. It might seem like a good idea to separate them in your mind, but Bello and Jeremiah are the same person, Mike."

"No, they're…"

"The same person."

"…Are dif…"

"The same person."

"…fernt people."

" _The same person_. Mike, they're the same person. They're both cold-blooded drug lords. You just happen to be in love with a cold-blood drug lord."

Sickness churned in my stomach with every word the man said. He was right. In my heart I knew that he was right and I wanted to hit him as hard as I could for being right. I was falling in love with a drug lord.

"Tell me now," Briggs stared at me.

"Tell you what?" I muttered.

"Tell me to get you out."

"No."

"Okay. In that case, get dressed, Levi. You, Johnny, and me, we're going to Hector's."


	7. Chapter 7

"Michael," Bello smiled when I walked into his living room, "It is good to see you."

With every step I took closer to the Nigerian I heard Briggs warning me not to get too deep. But at the same time the voice grew softer and softer. By the time I was sitting down they were a whisper.

Then Bello's hand threaded in my hair, his lips pressing against mine and the voice disappeared all together. The only thing that mattered to me was keeping this feeling for as long as I could.

Which is why I didn't think when I found myself laying back on the couch with the man on top of me. I didn't even think when I felt a hand slowly moving down my body.

A content sigh fell from my lips when the movements continued. Bello seemed pleased with that because he sped up. Still, it wasn't enough to actually satisfy me in any way.

Pulling back I opened my mouth to ask for something more when Bello's phone rung. I couldn't help but groan as he answered the phone. It finally seemed like we were going to do something and we got interrupted.

"That was a friend," Bello said climbing off of me, "You need to take me somewhere."

"Yes, Sir," I nodded standing up.

It was back to business and Briggs' voice was back full force. I was letting myself fall and do so quickly. And, maybe…What was so bad with letting myself fall in love with Bello?

Briggs wasn't the deciding force and he didn't know everything. Neither did the FBI. They had been wrong before. And they didn't even know Bello. They didn't know just how amazing he is.

It was like I told Briggs. When it was just Jeremiah and I everything was different. I could actually see myself having a future with this guy. I wanted to have a future with this guy.

What he did…What he did to Eddie that was to protect himself and in the long run he protected me too. That was the type of person he was. They just had bad info from whoever.

Wait, what was I thinking? Shit, I needed to get away from him for awhile. I needed to clear my head and figure all of this out before I did something that I would regret.

I knew that I loved him and I knew that I would be the reason that he was behind bars one day. When that day came I was going to have to walk away. I was going to have to forget him.

That didn't mean that I wanted to. I never wanted to forget what I felt when it was just he and I. And I couldn't stop myself from hoping that he could feel it just as much as I did.

Was this going to be the only time I ever felt this? Everyone kept saying there is one person out there that is truly right for you. Maybe, for me, that person was a drug lord. Maybe it was Bello.

"Michael," Bello called from the backseat, "What is going on in your mind right now?"

"You, Sir," I answered truthfully.

"Hmm…I like that answer. You will stay with me this weekend."

"Sir?"

"I have nothing to do this weekend and I find myself enjoying your company. I assure you we will do nothing until you are ready for it."

Nodding my head I pulled into the parking lot and got out quickly before opening the door for Bello. A small smile came to his lips as he climbed out, but it was gone by the time he was standing at his full height.

I gave him a slight smile back and schooled my features as I turned toward the man we were meeting. I never had much to do during these meetings. I simply watched and made sure nothing came to happen to my Boss. Because of this I let my mind go.

Bello hadn't directly offered me anything. He simply kept saying until I was ready though he knew that I wasn't a virgin. I had no idea what he was waiting for, but I was anticipating it just as much as he was.

I was getting way to close to this man. I needed to take a step back and just think. He was going to be going to jail soon. If I turned him in then I was truly going to lose him.

Wait, did I just say 'if'? Am I really thinking that I'm not going to turn one of the biggest drug lords in just because I was in love with him? I was an agent. It was my job to protect people from him and all the ones like him.

I had to turn him in as soon as I got the chance. He was doing no good to anyone running around putting drugs on the streets. I needed to get him off of the streets before more people go hurt.

My head snapped up when I heard someone yelling. I barely had enough time to move to catch the mans fist before it hit Bello, but I had enough strength to twist it behind his back hard enough to sprain it.

I had never felt so much anger course through me when I saw that man trying to hurt Bello. No one was allowed to hurt that man. Not while I was around to keep him safe.

Pushing him away I glared down at everyone waiting for my boss to tell me what to do next. Instead of answering a soft chuckle simply fell from his lips as he spoke to the man in front of me once more.

It wasn't until we were driving back to his place that I started to think about what happened. Or at least started to think about my reaction. I was supposed to be controlling myself, not punching people that treated Bello.

"Go home, Michael," Bello told me when we were at his house.

"What?" I asked confused, "I thought I was…"

"Spending the weekend here? You are, but you will need more clothing for that. Go. We will eat when you return."

Nodding my head I moved into my car and started to make a heat run back to Graceland. I had been driving for almost ten minutes when a car hit its breaks in front of me causing me to swerve to stop.

I grabbed my gun and started to climb out of the car when the door was suddenly swung out of my grip. A pair of hands pulled me out of the car and pushed me into it hard enough for the gun to slip from my fingers.

Grunting at the force I moved my leg so I could trip the person. Once both of us were on the ground the person flipped us over so he was on top and used all his force to pin me to the ground.

A wave of panic filled me for a moment as I tried to buck him off of me, but all that seemed to do was make him give this throaty laugh that make my blood turn cold instantly.

Taking a deep breath I realized that fighting wasn't going to get me anywhere. The guy had at least fifty pounds on me and, sadly, most of that felt like it was pure muscle.

I had never felt like a small guy, but right now I was completely dwarfed by this man and that terrified me. He was here to harm me in someway. Didn't know how, but he was.

Right now I couldn't help but wish that Bello hadn't sent me back to Graceland. I would have been so much safer if I had just stayed with him. He wouldn't let something like this happen to me.

Neither would Briggs though. Sometimes I got the feeling that the man didn't like me all that much, but I knew that was simply because he trusted me as little as I trusted him.

I don't know how it happened, but it felt like I was being forced to pick between Bello and Briggs. And I had no idea who I was going to choose. I didn't even know if I could choose.

As much as I hated to admit that I loved Bello I knew that I did. After almost eight months of working for the man I had fallen for him. And I hoped before the end of the year I had him behind bars.

But at the same time I was working to get Briggs behind bars as well. I'd known him for the same amount of time and I had no idea what I actually thought of the man that was mentoring me.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I let my eyes slowly open. There was barely enough light coming off of the streetlamp for me to really see, but I did recognize the guy that Bello had been talking to not even an hour ago above me.

He spoke quickly and in a language that I didn't understand, but that didn't matter as I felt hands grab my ankles and wrists and pin them hard enough to bruise to the concrete below me.

My heart started to speed up as I tried to figure out what was going on. Was he trying to get some payback for what happened at the meeting? I had thought he and Bello had left on good terms, after the punch incident.

I watched in fear as the man straddling my waist slowly pulled out a knife. My mouth opened to ask what he was doing, but before a sound could leave my lips a hand was placed over them.

The man made a soft tsking noise as he slowly brought the knife down and started to methodically cut off my clothing making sure the knife never touched my skin. What the hell was this guy going to do with me?

Tears started to make their way down my face as the different scenarios started to run through my head. Only one seemed to make any sense. And that made me more fearful than I had ever been.

It was because of this fear that I started to try to fight back. Bucking, biting, clawing at anything that was in my reach I did everything I could think of to get him off of me.

It was no use. His people's hands were holding me tighter and tighter. In the back of my mind I realized that this wasn't the first time that they had done something like this to someone.

That thought had me clutching my eyes closed. If they knew what they were doing then there was no way that I was going to get out. I was completely at his mercy and he knew it.

As soon as I thought that a scream erupted from my throat. It felt like I was being ripped in two, but I had enough mind, for a second that was, to know that it wasn't another persons body.

I tried to figure out what was in me just so I could have something other than the blinding pain to think about, but I couldn't do it. My only focus was on how I never felt this much pain before.

With every thrust, every scream that left me I found myself losing the fight I had tried to put up. I was never going to win and I knew that. There was nothing left for me to do but take whatever he was giving me.

A laugh filled the silence as I slowly stopped moving. He knew what I was thinking. He had seen who knows how many people just give up and let him have his way.

I don't know how long that thing was thrusting into me, but when it was harshly pulled out I couldn't help the sob of relief that fell from my lips. I should have known that thought was too good to be true.

The first blow was to stomach and I tried to turn so I could curl into a ball. Still the hands remained unyielding. I was kept on my back splayed out as the hits rained down on me.

The pain was so intense that it wasn't until the hands left that I noticed the pain had stopped completely. Curling myself into a tight ball I let out what I hoped was a soft choked sob.

I could hear their laughter above me, but it was slowly getting dimmer until it stopped completely and I was left alone on a back road in so much pain I knew I could never get very far alone.

With that idea I shuffled my way to my pants. Every movement drug whimpers and moans of pain from my lips, but I couldn't stay here. I needed someone I knew would help me. I called the first person that came to mind.

"Please," I whimpered into my phone, "Help me."

I couldn't get anymore than that out before the pain consumed me. I curled into a tighter ball the phone dropping from my hands. I could only hope that the person heard me.

That question was answered when I heard a car being pulled up next to me. I hoped that it was the person that I called, but I knew it could well be the people that did this to me.

"Oh, Michael," Bello's accented voice whispered, "What has happened to you?


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, Mike," Abbey grinned sitting next to me at the bar, "How are you?"

"I'm good," I smiled for a second.

The weekend was no over and three days ago I had been…It had been three days…Since that night and everything was slowly getting back to normal. Well, as normal as things could be after something like that happened.

It helped that I had Bello by my side the entire time. I never thought that that he could be any more amazing than he had been, but after he took me back to his place things were different.

When we got to his place I had thought that I never wanted to be touched again. Then, making sure I could see his hand, he lead me into the bathroom and ran the water for me.

I knew that I should be pulling away. That I should run. Bello wasn't a good guy and it would be so easy for him to hurt me now. Instead I felt like I could trust the man that was helping me.

That wasn't how a victim was supposed to react. Was it? All I knew was how safe I felt as Bello washed me and then patched me up. I trusted him not to hurt me like they had. And he didn't.

I spent the night in his arms crying as he spoke to me. He kept saying he'd protect me, that it wasn't my fault, that I was safe. I don't know when, but soon he was speaking in Nigerian. That was when I fell asleep.

In the morning I woke with this warmth surrounding me. Bello had held onto me the whole time and he seemed to wake up the second that I started to move. Actually it looked like he had barely slept at all.

It had been so amazingly weird waking up like that. Then I remembered what happened. I pulled away from the man needing to get away from him only to gasp in pain when I moved too quickly.

Bello once again stared to comfort me. His hands rubbing over my back until I let my focus go to that feeling. It was so nice to know that he wasn't expecting anything of me.

The rest of the weekend I was stayed either in Bello's bed or on the couch recovering. The strangest thing though was the Nigerian was either by my side or getting something he thought I needed.

In the end I felt the best when I was simply resting in the mans arms. Which helped when I told him what had happened to me that night. I couldn't believe how bad it was just retelling it.

It was wrong. All of this was wrong. I was never supposed to be…To be…I couldn't even say it. I simply wanted nothing more to go back in time and stop myself from agreeing to this assignment.

Every time I felt like that Bello seemed to appear out of nowhere and gently place a hand on me. It was such a bittersweet feeling knowing that if I hadn't agreed to come here I never would have met him.

That thought didn't sit well with me. I loved Bello. I truly did wanted to be with the man. Just be able to stay in that warmth for as long as I could and I didn't want to think about what that meant.

That couldn't last forever though. When the weekend ended I had to go back to Graceland. Which is why I found myself at the bar doing my best to avoid facing reality at all.

As soon as I walked through that door I was going to have Briggs on me. He wouldn't stop until I told him everything that happened and I barely got through retelling it the first time.

It wasn't just that though. Now that I was away from Bello I remembered that I was a Federal Agent, that I was supposed to be getting evidence to throw this man into jail.

I was fine if it was just Bello and myself. It was like nothing else mattered. Now, I was defiantly too far deep in the operation. And I was going to walk away over my dead body.

"Mike," Abbey waved her hand in front of my face.

"Sorry," I sighed turning to her, "A little too much thinking."

"Need someone to talk to?"

"I want to, but I…"

"Mike, why do you give me a hypothetical?"

Laughing slightly at that I turned fully to Abbey and saw that she was giving me this look. Half worried, half amused. I couldn't blame her. I probably looked a little insane right now.

"Say you had a friend that fell in love with this guy that wasn't exactly a good person," I started carefully, "One that you thought loved your friend back and cared about him and he didn't want to lose him and your friend had no idea what he was supposed to do. What would you do?"

"I would tell my friend that I cared about him," Abbey smiled sadly, "And that he should be careful. Because I know he's not going to just walk away no matter what I say to him. Also, he should talk to his other friends. See, what they think."

"I really don't want to do that."

"Mike…"

"I know, I know. I'm going."

"Wait, one last thing. Mike, we haven't known each other long, but I do think of you as my friend. If you need anything just talk to me."

"I need to remember who I am. Can we hang out tomorrow? Just go to the zoo or something?"

"Sure. Meet me around eight tomorrow morning?"

Grinning I kissed her cheek before walking out of the bar. I had to make sure that my movements were small and gentle since I was still feeling the affects of the beating they gave me.

As I started to walk to the house I felt my pulse sped up. I knew that I was venerable right now. Hell, if they could get to me when I'm in a car they could get me when I'm walking.

Stopping on a crowded sidewalk I pulled out my cell phone. I knew that Bello was in having a relaxing day, after what he did for me I couldn't blame him, so I ended up calling Johnny. Who said he'd meet me at Hector's in five.

By the time I got to Hector's, which was only three minutes, Johnny was already there ordering food for both of us. A grin lit up his face when he saw me walking towards him, but that stopped when he saw how I was walking.

"Shit, Man," Johnny whispered when we sat down, "What the hell happened to you?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Briggs said walking up to us, "Missed you this weekend, Warren."

"Briggs," I swallowed, "I was…I was coming to talk to you."

"Really? You were coming to talk to me? Because it looks like you were sitting down to a lunch with Johnny. Guess it wasn't important."

Hearing that tone in Briggs voice matched with the stance he'd taken I felt like I should run the other way. The man was pissed at me and he could easily hurt me if he wanted to.

No, this was Briggs. Pissed meant that he was worried. He just didn't want to show that he was worried. He cared about me and I knew that. I knew that he cared about everyone in the house. That was another reason all of this was so wrong.

I thought of Briggs as a mentor, but now that I was living with him I was coming to see him as friend as well. Because of that I knew that it was going to hurt if he did turn out to be a bad guy.

That was the last thing I wanted. Seriously, did I have a sign on my head calling forth all bad guys to make me care about them? This was just starting to get completely ridiculous.

"I was scared," I muttered looking around to make sure no one could hear.

"Scared?" Johnny questioned, "Of what?"

"Being alone? Something happened when I was coming to get some things from the house to spend the weekend with Bello. And I didn't think when I…He was the first person that I called and I just didn't think I could tell you what happened."

"What did happen, Mike?" Briggs asked his voice taking a soft edge.

"The meeting started to go bad. I stepped in before the guy could hit Bello and we left shortly after. I dropped Bello off and started to head to the house. A car stopped in front of me and I was pulled out before I had a real grip on my gun. It was the guys from the met. Um…The leader…He decided…I mean…Umm…"

Slowly Johnny reached across the table and placed his hand on my arm. I looked from the table to his face and saw a worried, but horrified look in his eyes before I looked at Briggs.

Briggs just looked like he was trying to hide the anger and horror from his eyes. I didn't have to say anymore. They knew what was going on. But I knew that they needed to hear it.

"They raped me with a pipe," I finally breathed, "Before they beat me."

"Mikey," Briggs sighed, "You shouldn't…I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Why didn't you call us? We would have gotten you."

"Because I didn't think. I just…I called Bello first and the pain was too much for me to even think to call you."

"I should pull you out. I should have pulled you when you said you loved him."

"I'm not leaving him, Briggs. He loves me too. And I have to be the one to stop him. I owe him that much."


	9. Chapter 9

"Michael," Bello spoke on the other side of the phone, "It has been two days since we have last spoken."

"It has," I smiled falling back on my bed, "It's a little weird. I'm used to seeing you everyday."

"And I you."

Closing my eyes I let his accented voice wash over me. I had been missing the older man these past few days. Something that I was sure Johnny and Briggs had picked up by now.

After I told them what had happened to me they brought me back to Graceland and we spent the day surfing. Well, they surfed while I watched them from the beach since I was too injured to do much else.

In the end I had to tell Johnny everything that was happening between Bello and I. His reaction wasn't exactly what I was expecting. It was like he was saddened by what I said and I didn't like that.

I had never wanted to hurt Johnny like this. I liked him. For awhile I had thought that I wanted to be with him. He was the type of guy that I normally would go after. Not Bello.

That didn't meant that I didn't think of the man as a friend. He was one of my closest friends here. I hoped that because all of this came into light he wasn't going to pull away from me.

Luckily, that hadn't seemed like the case the past two days. Briggs didn't want me to be alone, and I couldn't blame him. So when I went to the zoo with Abbey the next day Johnny tagged along.

It was like everything was back to normal for those few hours. It was like we were children again. Just running around, laughing. It was one of the best days that I had since I got to Graceland.

Today was the third day that I was away from Bello and just hearing his voice was soothing. I hadn't really slept in these days. Well, I slept, just no longer than an hour or two a night.

I don't know why this was happening now. When I was staying with Bello I don't remember having nightmares, but I did remember the man looking tired by the time I woke up.

Was it possible that the man had been helping me through the nightmares? I smiled at that thought. If he was that meant that he cared about me. Bello cared about me as much as I cared about him.

"You sound tired," Bello commented after I yawned, "Have you not been sleeping?"

"No," I answered honestly, "I can't sleep very long. Nightmares."

"Of course. They were quite bad when you were here. I do have something that might help."

"A time machine?"

"No, Michael. Meet me in the parking lot from that night."

It felt like I lost my ability to breathe when he said that. He wanted me to go back to the place where I met that guy? Why? What was so important that I needed to go back there?

"I…I can't," I stuttered out.

"Michael," Bello soothed.

"Please, Bello. Don't make me go back there."

"Even if it helps you?"

"Helps me? Bello, I was…They…What could you possibly do that could help me?"

"Michael, do you believe that I would ever hurt you on purpose?"

"No, of course I don't, Bello. I just…What they did…I don't think I can ever face that. Not now. Not ever."

On the other side of the phone I heard a soft sigh fall from Bello's lips causing guilt to course through me. He was trying to help me and I was ignoring that help because I was scared.

Feeling the tears well in my eyes I closed my eyes. I didn't want to disappoint Bello, but I wasn't strong enough to go back there. I couldn't face that again. I never wanted to face it.

At the same time I knew that if I didn't go with him I was going to hurt Bello. That was the last thing I wanted since the Nigerian was being amazing to me about all of this.

"Michael," Bello sighed, "Come to my home. Our discussion should be in person."

"Okay," I nodded though he couldn't see me, "I'll be there soon. Bye."

Hearing Bello say goodbye himself I hung up the phone and ran a hand through my hair. This really wasn't something that I ever thought that I was going to have to face. Yet here I was.

What the hell was I supposed to do? Briggs had said that I needed to take time to really process everything that had happened. Which I didn't do since I was hanging out with Johnny and Abbey all day.

Now Bello was saying that he knew a way to help me. What could possibly help me right now? Really, I thought that Briggs was right. That I just needed time, but I couldn't just ignore Bello.

Sighing I quickly changed into the type of clothes that Bello knew I wore and made my way to the car. My hand hesitating to even touch the door handle. I didn't want to even be around this car right now.

Shakily I reached out and placed my hand on the handle. I had to swallow hard a few times before I was able to open the door, but by the time I did I felt my whole body shaking horribly.

With a deep breath I steeled my mind and climbed in the car. For a moment I sat there with my eyes clenched shut before I turned the car on and started the drive to Bello's home.

When I got there I saw that Bello was waiting for me outside. Without thinking I threw the door open and fell onto the ground. Bello kneeled beside me a hand cupping my jaw so I was looking at him.

I could feel the tears running down my face as the images of that night ran through my head. I wasn't ready to face this. I didn't want to face this. I just wanted to forget anything happened.

"Oh, Michael," Bello whispered running his knuckles over my jaw, "What happened?"

"This…It was…this car," I stuttered, "I was…"

"I know. I know, Michael. It is okay. You are okay now."

"I'm…I am  _not_  okay, Bello. I can't be okay. Not with everything that…Not with them…"

"That is the part I can help you with. I know you do not think that going back to the parking lot where you met them will help, but I have something waiting for us. Something that will help you."

"What if…What if it just hurts me more?"

Moving slowly Bello bent down and placed his lips against mine. This was the first kiss that he and I have shared since this whole thing started. I knew why he had waited, but it felt so nice to have his lips against mine.

I reached down and linked my hand with his. Right now I wanted as much contact with someone I knew actually cared about me. And while I knew Briggs and Johnny would it just wasn't the same.

"Michael," Bello pulled away, "You do not feel safe because they are still alive."

"What?" I asked confused.

"Would I do anything to hurt you?"

"No."

"Then trust me. We need to go to the parking lot."

Before I could answer Bello was kissing me once more. I let myself think only of his warmth for a moment. All too soon he pulled back causing me to nod my head in agreement.

Soon I was driving us back to the parking lot my heart racing angrily. When I stopped the car I simply sat in the drivers' seat with my eyes shut tightly. I really didn't want to see whatever was out there.

"Michael," Bello said softly, "Open your eyes."

Taking a deep breath I let my eyes open slowly only to have a gasp fall from my lips. This is what Bello meant when he said that he was going to help me? Did he really think that this would help me?

Before me were all the men that had been there that night and none of them were breathing. They couldn't be with how much blood was around them. This was all overkill.

He had the men that…The men that hurt me killed. He thought that this was the answer to what happened to me. For the first time in months I remembered exactly what type of person he was.

"Bello," I whispered not looking away from the bodies.

"They cannot hurt you anymore, Michael," Bello whispered placing a hand on my shoulder, "I made sure of that."

"Like this?"

"Are you afraid? You need not to be. I would never do anything to hurt my love."

"Your love?"

"Yes, Michael. You are my love. You never need to fear me, Love. I promise you that."


	10. Chapter 10

"Come on, Levi," Johnny said trying to calm me down, "It's going to be okay."

"Okay? Okay?!," I practically shouted, "How can it be okay when he killed five people? For me!"

Once again I had spent the night at Bello's before coming back to Graceland. Of course by 'spent the night' I meant laid in his arms while he slept freaking out because he killed five people for me!

Who does something like that? Who just kills people with little to no remorse? Oh right, a  _drug freaking lord_! That's who just kills the people that mess with people they love.

Wait, love. He did say that I was his 'love'. I had been right before. Bello did care about me as much as I cared about him. He just had a completely sick and twisted, and maybe sweet, way of doing it.

Okay, so he had been doing to help me. He thought that now that they were dead that I wouldn't be as afraid as I had been. And, while all of this was too fucked up, I was relieved to know they couldn't get me again.

That didn't mean that I wanted them dead. I had just wanted to forget all about it and  _if_ , a pretty big if at that, I was ever ready to really talk about it, get them thrown in jail.

I had heard cases of ra…this when I was in the academy. It was hard to understand why people had such a hard time reporting this. Now I understood why they didn't even want to think of it.

In the end what I really wanted to do was focus on trying to figure out exactly what I thought about everything. Then Bello had to decide to be his version of a knight in shining armor.

If I had truly been who Bello knew me as him doing this wouldn't have been a big deal. I probably would have thought it to be the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me.

The fact was that I wasn't who he thought. I was so far from the man that he thought I was. What was I doing to myself? Why was I actually setting myself up to be broken hearted by a drug lord?

Damn it, why did all of this have to be so difficult? Couldn't all of this be just black and white? Bello is a bad guy. I am a good guy. Good guy arrests bad guy and the world is a better place.

See, that's nice and clean and it doesn't end up with five people dead or with my heart broken. All of this was just a little too messed up for me to even begin to really understand.

That was what was going to happen though, wasn't it? I was going to end up arresting Bello…Unless I…What am I thinking? I could never live my life as the bodyguard/lover of a drug lord. No matter how much I wanted to be with him.

And I did want to be with him. That's why I kept going back, why I refused to let Briggs take me off of this case. It was because I wanted for just a few hours I could pretend that he and I actually had a future.

"He did this to help me," I whispered looking between Briggs and Johnny, "He thought with them dead I wouldn't be so afraid."

"Are you trying to defend him?" Briggs asked glaring at me slightly.

"No. Of course I'm not trying to defend him. I'm just trying to figure out what I feel."

"What you feel? Damn it, Mike, that's it. I'm pulling you."

It felt like the breath was knocked out of me when Briggs said that. He said that he was going to pull me the moment he thought that I couldn't handle this. I just hadn't thought it would get to that point.

Was I really that far gone? Did he really have to pull me? No, Briggs was just overreacting. He just…I don't know what was going on in his mind, but pulling me wasn't the answer.

Standing up I grabbed my jacket and started to head towards the door. When I decided to tell Briggs and Johnny what had happened I hadn't thought that this was what would happen.

I had…Well, I had no idea what I thought would happen when I told them. I just needed to be able to tell someone. They were the only ones that could actually know everything so it only made sense for me to tell them.

"Mike," Briggs stood in front of me, "I can't let you go back."

"I have to," I glared.

"You're too close to Bello."

"All the more reason I should go back. Briggs, you know I'm the only one that can bring him in."

"Oh, that I know. What I don't know is if you're actually going to be able to bring him in. Mike, you love Bello. I told you I don't want to have to arrest you because you went to his side. That's exactly what's going to happen if you go back to him."

"I'm in control."

"No, you're not. You are the farthest thing from control right now. Can you honestly tell me right now that you would arrest Bello?"

"Of course."

"Really? Before or after you fucked him?"

Feeling a wave of anger fill me I pushed Briggs out of the way and threw the door open. That man had no right to say something like that to me. He knew how hard it was trying to work this out.

He had said that he knew what I was going through. That he fell in love with a mark as well. If that was true then he wouldn't be saying this things to me. He wouldn't be accusing me of joining Bello.

I had only been at Graceland for almost a year and even in that short amount of time I had thought that everyone was getting to know who I was. At very least Briggs should know me.

Sure I had wondered what it would be like if I joined him, but I never actually thought of doing that. I was a FBI undercover agent. All of my life that was what I had wanted to do.

Now, the one person that was supposed to believe in me, thought that I was going to join a drugs lords operation because I was in love with him. Was I really that bad of an agent?

I would never join Bello no matter how much I wanted it. I knew that. I knew that I was going to get heartbroken at the end. What I didn't know is how I could keep my head above water without people to trust.

"I'm trying to protect you, Mikey," Briggs said grabbing my wrist.

"I don't want your protection," I tried to pull away but he grip tightened.

"But you do need it. Listen to me. You're too close to Bello."

Using all of my force I pulled out of Briggs grip and started to pace the room. I knew that I looked like a caged animal, but that wasn't all that far off from how I felt right now.

I didn't need someone telling me what I already knew. I needed them to help me get through it when all of this went down. I just didn't see why Briggs didn't see that by now.

I wasn't going to walk away from Bello. I couldn't betray him like that. Okay, so I was going to be the reason he was in jail, but I wasn't going to let someone else take him in.

"Mike," Johnny sighed, "We want to help you, man."

"I know you do," I whispered staring at him, "But I'm not walking away."

"Damn it, Mike," Briggs practically growled, "You're too close!"

"Don't you think I know that? I know that this is going to end badly for me. I know that I'm going to end up being hurt. I know all of this, Briggs. What I don't know is if you actually trust me to do this!"

I hadn't actually meant to yell at Briggs, but I needed him to hear me. If anyone was going to be able to help me work through all of this it was him and I needed to know he was willing to do that.

How was wrong that? I didn't want to lean on the man. I wanted to be able to say that I was strong enough to handle everything that had been happening all these months, but I wasn't.

"Briggs," I stared at him, "Please."

"Why is it so important that you do this?" Briggs questioned.

"Because I do love Bello. I love him enough for him to know that it's my fault. I don't want to put him away, but I will when it's time."

"You're going to get hurt."

"I know. I can deal with that."

"I hope so. Because it's coming to an end."

Taking a deep breath I nodded my head and sat back on the bed. Briggs had a plan to end all of this. To actually send Bello to jail. My time with the man I love was almost to and end.

As Briggs laid down the entire plan I took a deep breath and wondered what I was going to do with the last of few days I had left with him. I really hated thinking our time was almost over.

"You got that, Levi?" Briggs asked calmly.

"I got it," I sighed.

"Can you do it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Mike…"

"Please, Briggs. I know what I have to do. By the end of this week Jeremiah Bello will be behind bars."


	11. Chapter 11

"Is everything alright, Michael?" Bello questioned running a hand down my back, "You seem unusually quiet tonight."

"I guess…" I started, "I'm just thinking too much."

"About what, my love?"

Turning towards the older man I smiled slightly and moved so I was resting against his side. This was it. After tomorrow Bello was going to be in jail and there was nothing I could do to stop him.

It wasn't as if we didn't have more than enough evidence to throw the man away for life. Hell, I almost couldn't believe that one man did everything that the Nigerian had done.

The fact remained though that after tonight was over I was going to be the one locking up Bello up. Our relationship was basically over. Something that completely broke my heart.

Closing my eyes tightly I tried to will away all these stupid thoughts, but everything came back to how I thought he was going to react to all of this. He was going to hate me.

As sad as it was I could actually see it now. The confusion and pain in his eyes when he realized what was going on. He was going to feel so betrayed when he knew who I was.

I couldn't handle that. I never wanted Bello to hate me. I had a job I had to do though. I had to bring Bello to justice. No matter how much it actually hurt me to do in the end.

What was I supposed to do? I knew that would be for the best if the two of us simply laid here for the rest of the night, but that wasn't what I wanted to happen. Not tonight.

All week I had been wondering what I should do on our last night and there was really only one thing that I wanted to do right now. I just wasn't completely sure of this yet.

It really hadn't been all that long since the night that I was…That night. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking this, but really all I wanted was to feel Bello's bare body on mine at least once.

I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to say that though. We had been going so slowly in a way it almost felt like he wasn't all that sure that he wanted to be with me at all.

Alright, I knew that he cared about me. He had showed that in every other way. This was what I wanted though. Once. Just once before all of this ended. I needed this to happen.

What about Bello? He had been the one to initiate everything and, besides the night that we had been interrupted, he hadn't tried to do anything more than some making out.

Maybe he didn't want me. Is that why he didn't want to touch me more than he already had? It's possible that I was over thinking this, but I didn't want to start something that both of us didn't want.

"Michael?" Bello questioned turning my face towards him, "What are you thinking?"

"Do you not want me?" I muttered with a blush.

"What? What do you mean?"

"You and I, we haven't…I mean…It's been months since this started and I thought…"

"Michael, are you worried because we have not have sex yet?"

"Yes?"

"Oh, my love, we have not gone that far yet because you have not said that you wanted to."

"You're the one that started everything. I had thought that would start this as well."

"There is no doubt in my mind that I want you in everyway that you are willing to give me, Michael, but this is a step that I do not take lightly. If you want this you must start it."

"You almost started it once before."

"Yes, I did. I had been so caught up in you. Your lips pressed tightly against mine, this lithe body moving slowly with mine, feeling your hard length on my hip as you ground against me. It is such an intoxicating feeling. I wanted nothing more than to take you right then and there."

"But you didn't. And after that?"

"After that? It was not very long after that that you were rap…"

"Please don't say it. So, you were just waiting for me to tell you that I wanted you?"

"Maybe. Or I wanted you to tell me exactly how much you want me. How you want me to take you."

A shiver run through my body I threw my leg over Bello's lap and sat there for a moment. Now that I was here I wasn't exactly what I was supposed to do. All I knew was that I wanted Bello.

Moving slowly I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and leant forward until our lips were touching. The kiss was chaste at first. Simply me trying to figure out just how I was supposed to do this.

As our lips moved together I let myself feel just that. The warmth filling my body from something as simple as a kiss. I never wanted to not feel this. It was too amazing to forget.

This was the last time. I was never going to feel his lips against mine again. I had to make this night count. I had to make sure that I never forgot my first, and only, time with Bello.

Swiping my tongue over Bello's bottom lip I deepened the kiss before moving as close to him as I could. I hated that our clothes were in the way, but I wanted this to go slow.

I wanted to make sure that I felt all of this. His lips, his skin, and everything that he was willing to give me. I was going to make sure that tonight lasted for as long as it could.

"I want you," I muttered pulling away from his so I could stare into his eyes, "I want you to give me everything."

"I can do that," Bello smirked before dragging me too a breathtaking kiss.

Groaning into the kiss I let my eyes slip shut as Bello took over. I had to admit the man knew exactly what he was doing. The kiss showing me just how hard and slow he planned for this night to be.

My hands found their way to the back of his neck when he pulled back to start nipping at my collar bone. His lips on my skin was an amazing feeling, but I needed more.

Completely aware of how shaky my hands were I let them travel down his sides until they were able to slip under his shirt. Once I felt his skin under my fingers a soft moan left my lips.

This was the first time that I was feeling more than his lips and arms. At that realization a shot of want filled me. Pulling away from Bello I quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off of him.

He looked exactly like I had dreamt. Newly visible areas of deep, dark skin. Muscles that were just visible under the skin. A small patch of dark hair disappearing into his pants.

Moving quickly I pulled my shirt off while slipping to my knees on the floor. As much as I loved feeling his lips on mine I wanted my lips to be on him. Everywhere I could reach.

I had to stretch up slightly, but my lips were able to attach themselves to his nipple. Sucking and nibbling on the bud I felt more than heard the groan come from Bello's chest.

As soon as I heard that I felt myself come addicted. I knew that Bello was not the kind of man to make a lot of noises, but I needed to hear more groans fall form his lips tonight.

I placed my hands on his sides and using a little pressure dragged them down. It was only enough to leave some red stripes, but I was rewarded with another groan and his hips moving forward.

Pulling away from Bello I made quick work of the rest of his clothing. When the last of his clothing hit the floor I felt my mouth water at the sight before me. Nothing I had imagined could have come close to his.

Without a second thought I pulled the older man down for another kiss. Our tongues battling, but both of us knew that Bello was in charge. And I was perfectly fine with that.

Breaking the kiss I smirked slightly and started to bite and kiss at his neck. His head fell to the side allowing me more access. It was something else to just be able to kneel here and taste him.

Trailing my lips slowly down his neck and chest I didn't allow myself to leave any marks. I truly didn't want to have to explain what happened tonight to anyone in the office tomorrow.

Quickly shaking that thought from my head I dipped my tongue into his belly button and swirled it. The groan was louder this time and a hand came to cup the back of my head and pushed me downward.

I wanted to continue to tease the Nigerian, but he wasn't the only one losing patients. His penis was so close to my mouth right now. It stood there proud. Its large head practically pointing directly at my mouth.

Swooping down I took that head in my mouth and flicked my tongue over the slit. I started to move downwards, letting him enter further into my mouth until I started to feel tears gather in my eyes.

Once I felt that I swallowed around him before moaning. He had such an amazing flavor. It was so addicting and I needed to taste as much of the man as I could before this ended. Bello seemed to have other plans.

Without a warning I found myself laying on the ground with Bello situating himself between my legs. His dark eyes were blown with arousal as he pulled my clothing off.

When I was naked underneath him Bello started to run his hands over my chest. I felt myself arch into his movements, but it wasn't until I felt his lips start to bite at me that I let out a whimper.

Bello let out a deep chuckle at that. That was enough to make another noise come from me. I found myself focusing so much on his movements that I almost didn't hear the small pop that came from a bottle of lube opening.

My body started to tense at that, but Bello seemed to be anticipating that because he simply made a soft reassuring noise before placing his lips on mine. His tongue already pushing its way in.

As soon as my body relaxed I felt a finger gently circling my hole. Moaning softly I spread my legs wider. A gasp had me pulling away from Bello as he gently pushed his finger into me.

That gasp quickly turned into a moan as I felt that burning stretch I had come to love. I hadn't done anything like this since that night, but Bello was so thorough in stretching me that I found myself thrusting back on three fingers.

"Ohhh," I moaned loudly, "Bell-Bello! Please."

"Please what, Michael?" Bello purred into my ear.

"Fuck me! Oh G-…Please! I need you…Need you in me. Filling me. Need to feel you. Please, Bello. Bello!"

A dark chuckle fell from Bello before his fingers were pulled out of me. Before I could make a sound of protest my leg was lifted so it was around his shoulder and I felt him start to push himself into me at such a slow and torturous pace.

When Bello was completely in me he didn't move. He simply bent down and brought me into another kiss. I was left panting and whimpered when he finally broke the kiss.

One hand was placed on my leg while the other went to my hip. Through hooded eyes I saw Bello smirk before he pulled back slowly and thrust back in with a force that had me keening.

Arching off of the floor I wrapped a hand around myself and started to tug in time with each of his thrusts. Groans and broken words in another language came from Bello as I took everything he gave me.

My orgasm hit me suddenly causing me to yell. I barely noticed Bello continuing to thrust into my body until he was filling me. It was perfect right now, both of us just panting, coming down from our high, the I let my eyes slip shut.

"Sleep, Michael," Bello said before lifting me up, though making sure he was still inside of me, "Sleep, my love."


	12. Ending 1

"Stop the car here, Michael," Bello spoke from the backseat.

Nodding my head I pulled the car to the side and shut it off. This was it. If everything went to plan the FBI should be arresting both him and I within the next few hours.

I honestly had no idea what I was supposed to be feeling right now. Torn between wanting to start the car again and drive away, to get Bello somewhere safe. Or going forward and sending Bello to jail for the rest of his life.

The thing was I was an agent. If I turned around I would lose everything that I worked for. I would lose my future. But at the same time I would have the man I loved. I would have Bello. And the world would have one more drug lord on its streets.

Could I do that? Could I forget all of my training and everything that he had done just so I could be with him? Could I actually join him and help him with everything that this job would entail?

No. Of course I couldn't do that. I wasn't doing all that well at even pretending to be part of this job. There was no way that I could do something like this without losing my mind.

Maybe that was the point. I wasn't exactly sure that I wasn't already halfway crazy already. Pretending to work for Bello while actually working for the FBI wasn't the best thing for the psyche.

Taking a deep breath I slowly climbed out of the car and went to open the door for Bello. He gave me a small smile and a nod before stepping out his hands coming up to fix his suit jacket.

I couldn't help but smile at that. I wished I could pull the man into one last kiss, but I knew that even though we weren't technically in the building the FBI was already watching us.

Besides that Bello wasn't exactly the type of guy to be okay with public displays of affection. Maybe he'd make an exception if he knew that this was going to be our last time together.

Closing the door behind him we started to make our way towards the meet. By the front door Briggs was waiting for us since he had been the one to set up this meet and because he thought I needed the backup.

Which I couldn't blame him for. I wasn't exactly in my right mind when it came to Bello. If he thought he needed to be here because he wasn't sure if he could trust me then I'd just have to deal with that.

If I was in Briggs position I would do the same thing. I would lose the trust that I had just started to gain in him. It was then that I started to think about how I ended up in this position, in Graceland.

All of this was because the FBI thought that they had a reason to put Briggs away as well. After all this time and everything that the man had done I knew that he wasn't exactly what they thought an agent should be. But he was a good agent.

He needed to know what was going on. It wasn't going to change how he did anything and he was going to hate me for this, but I was already going to lose one person I cared about why not lose the rest of them at the same time?

"Hey," Briggs nodded, "You guys ready for this?"

"As ready as we'll ever be," I answered.

The meet started like any other. Bello, Briggs, and the man they were talking to started to discuss everything while I stood by ready to jump in if a fight accorded. I just hadn't expected one so quickly.

Before I could even really realize what was happening guns were being drawn. I looked around trying to figure out what had happened as I leveled my gun to the man across from Bello

Briggs worked quickly and got everyone to lower their guns once more. The rest of the meeting went well. Soon everything was figured out and everyone started to leave, but Briggs, Bello, and I.

They didn't get very far. The doors were thrown open as a team lead by Johnny swooped into the building. Bullets started to fire, but my eyes were drawn to back to Bello and Briggs.

The Nigerian now had a gun pointed at Briggs as he started to accuse my mentor of setting him up. By the look on his face I knew that he was going to shoot the agent where he stood.

At the sight I lifted my gun once more. Neither of them could really tell who I was pointing the gun at, but all I knew was Johnny and his team weren't going to get here in time to stop this.

"He has betrayed me," Bello growled.

"I didn't do anything," Briggs calmly stated, "This one isn't on me, Bello."

"Why should I believe you?"

Briggs continued to try to get Bello to lower his gun, but nothing was working. The Nigerian was going to kill Briggs and I was the only one that could stop him right now.

Seeing Bello's finger twitch on the trigger I pointed my gun directly at his chest and fired twice. The darker skinned man fell backwards at the impact his gun falling from his hands.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Briggs move away and start to help Johnny, but my only concern was Bello. Moving quickly I put my gun away before falling to my knees next to the man.

I knew that the wounds were fatal. Even if we had been in the middle of a hospital they wouldn't have been able to save the man, but that didn't stop me from pressing my hands against the worst of the wounds and tried to stop the bleeding.

"Michael," Bello breathed.

"I'm sorry," I answered softly, "I'm so sorry, Bello."

"You work…For them."

"I'm sorry."

That was the only thing that I could think of to say. All of this was my fault and, though I wasn't actually going to get in trouble for it I knew that I should. I should walk away from all of this.

When I was a kid this was not what I thought being a FBI agent would be like. I thought it would be like being a cop and maybe it was when you could say you were an agent, but I wasn't.

I was an undercover agent. To the world outside of Graceland I was basically no one and I hadn't realized how much I would come to hate that until this moment. Until I realized that I had nothing.

"I'm so…" I started.

"Shh, my love," Bello whispered a shaky hand moving to cup my jaw, "I understand."

"It was never part of the plan."

"I know. It was…not my intent-intention either. You are not…like anyone before. So different. So special."

"So are you, Bello."

"Jeremiah, Michael. I believe…you can call me that…now."

"Now? Now that I killed you?"

"No, Michael. Now that…you have…loved me"

Feeling tears start to stream down my face I tried my hardest to pull back my emotions. This wasn't the right time to have a breakdown. Not when I thought people were around me.

This wasn't what was supposed to happen at all. Briggs had a plan so Bello and I both got arrested. Bello would stay in jail and I would go back to Graceland and simply start another case.

That was blown out of the water the second that Bello held a gun to Briggs. I had to do something to keep the man safe and that meant that I had to shoot Bello. I had to do it.

"Tell me," Bello suddenly demanded.

"Tell you what?" I asked confused.

"Tell me of the man that I have fallen in love with. Tell me what your name is."

"My name is Michael Warren."

"Michael Warren. It is…a pleasure to…meet you."

"I love you, Jeremiah Bello."

"And I love you, Michael Warren. And I love you."

Forgetting that I wasn't alone I bent down and pressed my lips to Bello's. Our lips moved together gently until I felt Bello let out his last stuttered breath. It took another moment before I was able to force myself to pull back.

I fell back so I was sitting down and let the sob fall from my lips. I had killed the man that I loved and he had known why I did what I did. He had basically forgiven me for it.

How was I supposed to live with myself for doing this? How could he have forgiven me for this? How could he understand why I did everything when I didn't understand it myself?

"Come on, Mike," Briggs whispered helping me up.

"He wasn't…How could…He said he understood…He wasn't mad at me," I stuttered out.

"He did understand. Once he knew who you worked for he did understand why you did it. He forgave you."

"I can't…"

"You will. You'll forgive yourself. Someday."

"I love him, Briggs. I love him so much."

"I know, Mikey. I know."


	13. Ending 2

"It's over, Mike," Briggs said from behind me.

Turning away from the one-way mirror I saw Briggs standing at the doorway arms crossed over his chest badge gleaming in the light. He looked like the agent I knew him to be.

Briggs was nothing like what I expected. I thought I was going to get to meet a n agent that had fallen off rails, and I did, but at the same time I realized that he was only off the rails if you didn't know what to look for.

If the people that I was supposed to be answering to knew anything about what it was really like to go undercover they'd realize that this man wasn't what he seemed to be at all.

He didn't go by the rules because the rules didn't work out here. He didn't trust anyone because the second you trusted someone they had a hold over you. He had changed for some reason, but it was a change for the better.

I didn't know if I was as far away from the rules as he was, but I understood it better now. You had to protect yourself and your lies out there. If you didn't you were dead.

Everyone at Graceland had made sure I knew that within the first week. They needed me to understand that the world that I now lived it wasn't black and white anymore.

There were so many shades of gray that it was hard to even think straight at times. You had to know just how far past the legal/illegal line you were willing to pass. How far you were willing to go.

Briggs had been doing this for a long time so he was more comfortable going further than most. I was new and I still wanted to have the line firmly in place for as long as I could.

That wasn't going to happen though. When it came to Bello I almost completely threw out the rules that I loved so much. I had a reason to and in the end we got the guy, but I still threw them out.

I hadn't truly thought of what it meant to be an undercover agent. Now that I was here though, learning what it did take, I hoped that no one would ever be in the position again.

Of course it was a good learning experience and it showed you what kind of agent you would be. But at the same time it felt like you were ripping yourself in half. You were lucky if you only went half mad by the end of one mission.

It was easy to see how Briggs ended up being the agent that he is now. Honestly, even with everything that happened, I still hoped that I could be half the agent that he is one day.

"Then why are you that one interrogating Bello?" I questioned, "He thinks that you're this go between guy still, right? You go in there and your cover is going to be blown."

"No," Briggs shook his head, "I got blown when we were taking him down. I'm out with Bello so I can talk to him. And because I'm blown more likely than not so are you."

"But you're not going to let me in there."

"But I'm not going to let you in there. You did good, Kid. You don't have to stay and watch, but I'm not going to let you go talk to Bello. I can't."

"I can't leave."

Briggs sighed and nodded his head before making his way into the interrogation room. Slowly I turned back to the mirror and saw Bello simply sitting at the table waiting patiently.

The man knew that he was caught, it wasn't that hard to figure out, but he wasn't going to give anyone the satisfaction of watching whatever was going on in his mind right now.

That was one of the things I had come to love about Bello. He knew exactly what he wanted and though he was no longer in control of the situation he was going to show everyone that he was a force to be reckoned with.

I never meant to fall in love with him. He truly was nothing like I was used to dating. Maybe that was why it was so easy for me to fall for the man. Because he was nothing like I expected.

I thought he'd be rough and an all around horrible person, but that couldn't be farther from truth. Bello was sweet and kind when he wanted to be and oen of the most gentle people that I had ever met.

Part of me still didn't want to believe that it really was him that had done everything that he was accused off. That maybe the man had an evil twin running around somewhere.

That was just a pipe dream though. The Bello I loved was the same one that sold drugs, killed people, and so much more that I truly didn't even want to think about right now.

It didn't really matter though. Nothing I did or said was going to change the fact that Bello was going to jail and it was going to be the best thing for everyone around if that happened.

That didn't mean that I wasn't heartbroken because of this. I was losing the one person that I loved. I was never going to be able to see this man again. Maybe that was for the best.

Bello drew me out of my comfort zone. He showed me the evil in the world, the evil that he was part of, while showing me just how much good was inside someone that was evil.

Sighing I took one last look at the person that I loved. This was it. This was the end. Nothing was going to change that. I just wished I had one more chance to feel his lips against mine.

Turning away I started to make my way towards the door so I could leave when I heard Briggs walk into the interrogation room. I had to take a deep breath and start walking again, but then I heard Bello's voice.

"Paul," Bello's voice rung out pleasantly, "If you are here I am guessing that  _Michael_  works you for."

My entire body froze when I heard the way that Bello said my name. It was so dark and twisted. Nothing like how he said it when I had been working for him. Nothing like the man that I knew.

Spinning around to the mirror I looked at Bello and saw that he hadn't suddenly changed into someone else it was still him. How I wished that he had been changed into someone else.

Briggs tried to steer the conversation away from me, but Bello refused to answer any questions. I watched as Briggs stood up and started to make his way out of the room after about half an hour of nothing.

"It was easy, you know," Bello suddenly smirked, "Breaking Michael. Getting him to  _love_  me. Almost too easy. A caress here. A smile there. But I wasn't sure I had him. So I had to do something…Drastic."

My heart was thumping roughly in my chest as the smirk on Bello's lips grew. He had been using me. I had said that in the beginning, but it was so easy to fall in love with him.

How could I be so stupid? How could I believe that Bello truly loved me? No. No. This couldn't be right. Bello did love me. He said so himself. He couldn't have been playing me. Right?

Oh…What have I done? How could I let myself fall so far? Why didn't I listen to Briggs? Why did I have to be so damn stupid about all of this? Why couldn't he love me too?

"It was easy to set up the meet," Bello causally commented, "And even easier for them to follow him. From what I heard from them before they did…It was wonderful to fuck him."

A gasp fell from my lips as I stumbled backwards into the wall. Bello had sent the guys to rape me? All of it had been part of some plan to…What? Get me to be loyal to him?

"And how he begged," Bello laughed darkly, "Not them of course. He simply sobbed like a child with them. No, he begged with me. Begged me to fuck him. It was last night. In case he had not told you. I have to admit that he is very good."

Shaking my head I slide down to the floor as tears started to fall down my face. He had used me and from the sounds of it he had started this plan as soon as he had met me. I had fallen for it.

I had fallen in love with this monster of a man. I had let him take me to bed after he had paid people to rape me. And I still loved part of him even as he was telling Briggs all of this.

I didn't want to believe that this was true. It couldn't be true. I would never love someone who treated people this way. I  _could never_ love someone who treated people this way.

In the end there was no lying to myself though. I had loved Bello. And I would always love the man that I thought he had been. I hated that I would always be in love with this man.

I was still going to dream of what it was like to be in his arms. I was still going to think about his lips brushing against mine. I was still going to hate him just as much as I loved him.

"He is mine, Paul," Bello grinned darkly, "No matter what happens. No matter where he goes. No matter who he pretends to be. Michael will know that he is mine. Forever."

"No," I whispered to Bello though he couldn't hear me, "I am in love Jeremiah. Not you Bello. Never you."


	14. Ending 3

"Michael, my love," a soft voice spoke breaking through my sleep, "Wake up."

Feeling a gentle hand running through my hair, nails scratching at my scalp my eyes fluttered open. A sleepy smile tugged on my lips when I saw the face that I loved staring down at me.

Jeremiah Bello, a drug lord, the man that I loved. I still couldn't believe it. I had fought so hard to never find this because I never believed that I deserved it and yet here I was. I was in love.

It didn't take long for me to fall for the man. Why should it have? For everything that he's done, every horrible act, every death he caused, every ounce of drugs and gun he gave to the wrong people, he took care of what was his, of what he loved.

I had fought it for so long. I couldn't admit that I was in love with someone that had done what he has, but I couldn't fight it anymore. Not with those eyes staring into mine.

This was never supposed to happen. Someone like me was never supposed to find love or happiness. At least that's what I had grown to believe. Now I knew just how wrong those words were.

"What are you thinking of?" Bello questioned his fingers caressing my jaw.

"The past," I whispered, "My past."

"Tell me."

Smiling softly I opened my mouth ready to tell Bello everything about me, things I had never told anyone before, when his phone rang. A smile was offered to me before he got up and picked up his phone.

I watched as the Nigerian's naked body walked out of the French doors and onto his porch feeling myself twitch in excitement. The smile on my lips grew until I remembered exactly what today was.

This was it. In only two hours I was going to be leading Bello to Briggs, to his end. The man was going to know what I had done and, if all went to plan, we'd never see each other again.

My heart clenched unhappily at that. Maybe sleeping with him was a bad idea. Everything seemed so much more real now that I truly knew what Bello felt like in the best ways.

Every inch of me was still buzzing just remembering the feeling of him. And I was never going to feel it again. I had just found love and I was going to lose it all because…

"Michael," Bello called walking back into his room, "We must get ready for our meeting."

"I know," I nodded with a soft sigh, "But…Don't we…Do we have time…Just forget about it."

"Do not do that. If you have something to say you are more than welcome to say it. You need not fear me."

"I was hoping that you'd join me in bed for a little longer. If we have the time that is."

Bello gave me a soft chuckle before sliding under the sheets. The older man tugged me closer to him until my head was resting over his heart and almost instantly I felt soothed.

Wrapping an arm around the Nigerian's waist I closed my eyes and let him completely wash over me. For the first time in my entire life I felt completely and utterly safe.

I found my safety in the arms of one of the most dangerous men in the world. A man that I was supposed to be taking down. A man whose lips pressed against the top of my head comfortingly.

Jerking away from the man I scrambled out from under the sheets and across the room. I didn't deserve to have this man comfort me when all I was going to do was throw him in jail.

"Michael?" Bello questioned in confusion.

"Why?" I choked out.

"Why what, my love?"

"Why did you do this to me? Why did you make me fall in love with you?!"

Bello started to stand up and make his way towards me. I couldn't stand to see that look on his face so I turned around my eyes closing tightly only to pop open when I felt arms wrap around my waist.

Biting my lip I did my best to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over. The arms around my waist spun me around causing me to close my eyes tightly again.

Fingers tilted my head until his lips met mine. I tried my hardest not to fall for it once more, but I couldn't resist him. Slowly my lips started to move against his until I forced myself to pull away.

I moved away from the Nigerian once more coming to stop at his desk. Resting my hands on it I thought back to everything that Briggs had been telling me over the last few months.

He knew I was getting too close and he had been trying to pull me back ever since, but I fought him at every turn. Now I saw that I should have listened to him because I couldn't do this.

Everything in me was telling me that I should get dressed and leave, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't just walk away from the man. Not when I was so close to getting everything that I wanted.

Still, Bello was ruthless to the people that betrayed him and if this was the ultimate betrayal I don't know what is. With everything I had caused I just hoped that this didn't end too badly.

"Can you promise me something?" I questioned turning back to him.

"Of course," Bello nodded.

"Whatever happens you do everything to me yourself."

"Michael, I…"

"Promise me you'll do it yourself."

Bello stared at me in confusion before nodding his head in consent. Seeing the man nod his head I felt a weight lift off my shoulder. I nodded back a sigh falling from my lips.

Taking a deep breath I quickly made my way to Bello wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into what, if I was right about everything, was going to be our last kiss.

"My name is Michael Warren," I whispered breaking the kiss, "I'm an undercover agent with the FBI."

The arms wrapped around my waist tightened at me words. I looked at the ground doing my best to mentally preparing myself for everything that the Nigerian was going to do to me.

I found myself being walked backwards to the bed and roughly pushed down. Looking up at Bello I tried to read the mans face, but he was hiding whatever he was feeling towards me.

"You are FBI," Bello practically growled, "Why are you telling me this now?"

"To warn you," I spoke softly.

"Warn me of what?"

"The meeting that you're supposed to go to, the one with Paul, don't go. It's a trap."

"Is it? And how would you know that?"

"Because I helped set it up."

Bello turned his back towards me while his nails scratched at his scalp. The tears that I had been holding back slowly started to stream down my face when I saw him do that.

Every thing in my was sure that this was going to be the end. That Bello was going to turn back around and I'd see that truly sadistic side of his for the first, and last, time.

"Why are you telling me this?" Bello questioned not turning around.

"Because I fell in love with you," I answered sadly, "And I can't…I can't just let you walk in there and know all of this was my fault."

"So you tell me that you are a cop though you know that I will want you dead now that I know the truth?"

"Yes."

"You want me to harm you, to kill you with my own hands. Is that what that promise meant?"

"Yes."

Bello suddenly spun around and grabbed me by my arms and pulled me up. I stood in front of him hoping that whatever he did was rather quick, but then I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me tightly against him.

Our lips crashed together Bello's tongue pushed past mine, his hand threading in my hair the hold on the wrong side of painful causing me to whimper softly into his mouth.

"Tell me the truth," Bello demanded pulling away.

"The truth?" I asked in confusion.

"Do you truly love me?"

"I do, Bello. I love you."

"Good. Help me pack my things then."

"Pack your things?"

"I love you, Michael Warren. Though I would like nothing more than to see you punished for your acts. I can forgive you. If you come with me. Will you come with me?"

"Yes, Jeremiah Bello. I'll come with you."


End file.
